You already know Beth and Sam, and if you don’t and are on this website there is no excuse for failing to know at least what they look like. But equally important on the day, you will need to know those people who matter, both for their part in making the whole event happen in the first place and for the part they will play in organising and corralling folk around the venue. Without further ado then, here are the faces you need to know for the day.

DAVID HUGHES AS ‘BEST MAN’

Sam and Dave have known each other for around fifteen years and have been friends essentially throughout this time, though obviously there have been times when Dave’s patience with Sam could stretch only so far and he needed a mental health break. Otherwise, however, they have been strong, good buddies for a long time and, given he got married in 2013 and Sam spoke at the wedding, there are two things you can be sure about with Dave. First, Dave is going to be managing the logistics of the day with the precision of a ninja, and a bloody good ninja too. Secondly, Sam’s speech at Dave’s wedding was literally great, so Dave’s speech will almost certainly be even better, so keep your ears peeled and clear for that later in the day. Most of all, this is the man who must be obeyed at all times, in particular when attempting to shepherd people from one room to the next and when organising photo opportunities.

ELLY HORSLER AS ‘MAID OF HONOUR’

To suggest Elly is merely Beth’s best friend in, like, literally the whole world is massively underestimating the bond between these two. They are peas in a pod. They met through working together just over a decade ago and have essentially been borderline in love ever since, despite often large distances in between the cities they reside in. You will know Elly on the day in part through reading this page of information and the picture above, but the best way to know which one Elly will be is to listen out for a cacophonous, cackling laughter that will erupt essentially any time Beth and Elly come anywhere near each other. They have unleashed this occasionally terrifying noise in public on a few occasions and our wedding, which will involve a fair amount of booze, will be no exception. For the day though, you must all respect and listen to Elly, never call her Eleanor and, like Dave above, go where she tells you to post-haste. Otherwise, anything approaching messing with Elly will result in Beth bringing down the hammer.

TOM, JACK, LORA, MICK AND ALI AS ‘SAM’S FAMILY’

Tread very, very carefully around this lot. You will definitely get to know all of them by the end of the day as the Unsted family has no qualms in talking quickly and aggressively to everyone they meet. So Mick’s the father, Ali’s the mother, Jack and Tom are the brothers and Lora is the SiL (Sister-in-Law, obvs). They are Sam’s family and they will all be getting shout-outs of some kind as the day goes on as they all have a part to play over the course of the evening. More than that, they are all great and should be treated as VIPs by everyone in attendance for the entire day.

AND, VERY IMPORTANTLY, PENNY AND IAN AS ‘BETH’S PARENTS’

Beth’s parents. Good people. It’s as simple as that. They are the primary financiers of the day, so everything you eat and drink has been provided by Penny and Ian. Remember that, you ungrateful ingrates. More that all that though, they are really, really lovely people. Beth and Sam think and know so. You will think so very soon. Please note that you will have to give them a standing ovation on the day for all they have done for us, so be prepared and learn their faces and make sure you thank them, both for the wonderful day they’ve helped to put on and also for everything they have done for Sam and Beth down the years. Good people. Trust.